I’m a very lucky mummy to two under two babies. I have an almost 21 month old little boy and a 6 months old little girl (today!). Having two babies so close might sound crazy but I love it. I’m so happy and glad we had them so close. When I found out I was pregnant with N., I was so happy and excited even if L. was only six months old I knew I was ready to have a second little one and that’s what I wanted.
At the beginning of my second pregnancy, the hardest part was not to carry L. too much he was still very young and he wasn’t walking yet so I still needed to carry him which cause my cervix to open up very early (we found out it was open at 21 weeks) which was scary as you don’t want it to start to open so early. Another thing that was hard was the nausea, I couldn’t stand the smell of food which was really hard to cook for L. and feed him. I love spinach, like honestly I could live on spinach! Well when I was pregnant I couldn’t stand the smell nor the taste of it so my mum had to cook for L. and feed him because even seeing him eat the spinach would make me feel sick. What else can I think of ? Oh I know… It’s horrible to say but I was really sensitive to odours, like I said the smell of food was horrible but it was also very hard for me to be able to smell L.’s skin and his saliva (he was teething very badly). He was sleeping in the same bedroom as us and when I was getting up at night it was making me feel sick and dizzy… It stopped eventually. I couldn’t wait for it to stop to be honest, because it’s horrible to say that and I’m very ashamed of it but that’s the truth and I couldn’t help it.
We’re very lucky them so close in age because they were really close to each others straight away. They are still very young but you can tell the already how much they love each other. If L. cries, N. cries. If N. cries, he runs to her to put her dummy back in and give her teddy back. He loves giving her books and toys. He would love to be able to carry her as well but this is not happening! The only thing he doesn’t like is when she touches him or pull his hair, he gets so annoyed for some reasons and he just moves away. Oh! And he doesn’t want her to touch his teddies unless he gives them to her (they are called Mifi or Mimi he’s got five of them but carry two everywhere). N. loves L., she looks for him all the time and she smiles and laughs at anything he does. You can tell, she just wants to be able to play and walk around with him.
We are 100% lucky to have such adorable babies.
When I say that I’m tired I’m always told it’s normal because I have two young babies (I hate it!) but to be honest with you I don’t feel overwhelmed with everything I have to do with them. We have a routine, and they both know the routines. They sleep, eat, naps, play, bath and so on amazingly that I don’t feel like it’s too much and it makes me feel even more lucky that they are so close. Few weeks before I gave birth I got scared that I wouldn’t be able to find a routine and I would have no time to be able to do everything I have to do with the babies and study for uni (from home), but they are so amazing that I have plenty of time for everything.
When some person found out about my pregnancy I heard very terrible things, I’m not going to list them all but the two I’m gonna write below are the ones that were the worse to me and they came from doctors which felt even more wrong to hear …
1. So the first one was “But it was an accident, right ?”Well no, no it wasn’t an accident. We did not think it would happen for many reasons, and just like the first time we were not trying we just knew we wanted it to happen and it would happen whenever it was the right time. We were very lucky it happened so early but we if we did not fully plan it well it was not an accident. It’s so wrong to say that … You can’t say that to someone you don’t know without knowing their health background… And anyway it’s so wrong to say because it’ none of your business. You’re not the one who is going to educate and provide for this baby so you don’t have anything to say there.
2. The second one: “You’ll have to think about a contraception then … because two babies and you’re only 22 … Ask for an IUD it’s really good or an implant.”So my body – my choice. Pointless to say that when I said no and tried to explain that I can’t be using hormones and I don’t trust any of those contraception the lady was very rude. In fact she was the lady who done one of my scan, and after that she hurt me while doing the scan it was terrible.
Anyway, once again she wasn’t allowed to judge us. In a way I could have accepted and listened to her if she wasn’t judging but advising me, but here it wasn’t an advice she was forcing into taking a decision, telling me what I have to do. I cancelled my next scan with her and went back to see the private midwife I saw for L. . She remembered us and was very happy to see us and L., and she was lovely the whole time. There was no judgment. I felt really safe with her, just like with my midwife.
For L. we heard crazy (and hurtful) things as well such as “Are you sure it’s not an ectopic pregnancy ?” after all we had been through yes we were sure otherwise we wouldn’t tell anyone. “That’s what condoms are for.”, “Are you going to keep it ?” Well … People are so wrong, aren’t they ?
When it comes to our life no one should judge us, no one should have a word to say. We live our life the way we want and it’s annoying when some people feel like they are allowed to give unwanted advices.
I don’t really know what was the aim of this post. I just needed to write, and I felt inspired to write about this topic.
If you don’t want children, it’s your choice.
If you just want one, it’s your choice.
If you want to have ten, have ten.
If you want them close in age or with a huge gap, it’s YOUR choice.
It should always be your choice, and no one has the right to judge you for your choice.
You can read my post about how I was diagnosed with Adenomyosis: It’s not just in my head..
I hope you’re all healthy and staying safe. Don’t forget to stay home.