I would have never imagine that I would one day open my blog to write such a heartbreaking post.
Today my idol passed away. He was 33, a husband, a father to two young children, a godfather, a fighter and so many other things. He was a beautiful soul. He was talented. He fought till the end and I can’t believe he’s gone. I don’t want to believe this is real. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for his wife, his family, for his children who must be looking for their father.
My heart is so heavy. So broken.
Tom Parker was fighting after he was diagnosed with a fatal brain tumour. He fought so hard. So so hard. We are all so so proud of him.
When his diagnosis was announced back in October 2020, I wrote an ‘open letter’ which I never posted but today I’m going to share it with you. ❤️
Tom you are already so so missed. I’ll never forget you, and I’ll forever be grateful for everything you’ve done for me. Thank you for bringing the boys back together, thank you for giving us the chance to see you one last time on stage and for giving YOU the chance to do what you loved one more time. I’m pleased to know your children and your godson got to experience seeing you with your mates on stage. I love you Tom, forever. ❤️
(October 13th, 2020) AN OPEN LETTER…
I’ve thought about doing an open letter to explain my love for The Wanted for a while, but I never thought I’d felt the need to do it under such circumstances…
If you follow me on my Twitter, or Instagram you might I’ve seen my posts about Tom recent revelation about his diagnosis with a brain tumour. It broke my heart… I know for some people it might sound like I’m exaggerating because he is a celebrity, a singer, so someone I don’t know in real life but Tom has always been really important to me. So let me tell you a bit more about The Wanted & Me… it’s not going to be easy to write…
It all started when I saw a video of them on YouTube singing live one of their single. I remember it well, it was “Lose My Mind” live on xfactor (I think it was end of 2010 or beginning of 2011). Anyway, I immediately fell in love with them. I loved their voices, the song. It was the beginning of an amazing journey… I couldn’t stop listening to their songs, watching videos of them, just like I was already doing with the Jonas Brothers. In school, I was struggling a lot… I did not have many friends, and I was staying alone a lot so I would end up hiding somewhere with my headphones on listening to The Wanted (or the Jonas or One Direction, yes I was and always am a fangirl..) so yes I was 100% of the time listening to them. They were helping me escape and being in my own little bubble. I would listen to them from the moment I would wake up, till the moment I would fall asleep – I would always fall asleep listening to my music.. so basically the only moment I wasn’t listening to them was when I was in class !-
The Wanted were my first concert. I’ll never forget every time I’ve seen them live or just outside a venue/train station. So the first time I’ve seen them was on the 3rd of July, 2012 in Paris. We waited in front of the venue of their private show for hours. We saw them getting in the venue before their rehearsals/soundcheck and when they got out, I’ll never forget the excitement and happiness I felt when I saw them. They were actually real. The concert was amazing, it was a private show so it was in a small venue (a club!) so it felt like we were on stage with them. We were so close. During their performance of “All Time Low”, I was doing a heart with my fingers to them and I’ll never forget when Tom replied back. All my friends got excited and I truly cherish this video my friend took. Tom was already very important to me, and such a simple thing meant a lot to me. Anyway, the show was magical, amazing, and I’ll never forget about it. We waited for them a little bit after but then got home as it was late. The next day, we waited 09 hours in the train station to try and meet them before they would leave for the UK. We saw them, it was a bit chaotic. We were all queuing nicely and quietly, but a guy refused to let the boys take photos with us so when they started heading to the train station we all started walking/running with them and I got lost, I actually ran past Max without even noticing because I was so lost and looking for my friend. (I’m in a WantedWednesday video and you can actually see me run past Max so … yeah! This is actually why I know I ran past him!) we got to see them for a little while! We were downstairs and they were speaking and waving at us. The next time I saw them was July 2nd, 2013 in Paris. This is actually the last time I saw them. This day we followed them everywhere we could. We first went to the train station to greet them, but then we found out they would arrive at the airport. Then we went to their hotel. At their hotel, we saw them very quickly then they left to go for an interview on the TV. So we decided to go, and we saw them their again. It was just amazing. I just can’t describe how amazing it felt to see them for real. We went back in front of their hotel, for the contest. It was a kind of catwalk for their song “walk like Rihanna” two of my friends signed up for it. I had a sign that said “I can’t sing, I can’t dance, but who cares ? I’m listening to TW.”, I still have the sign! What I did not realise is that during the contest someone noticed it and took a photo to post on the band Facebook and Twitter page. When we realised it just before the private show (in a club, again!) I was so so so happy! I just couldn’t believe it! During the show I held the sign, and Siva and Nathan pointed at it and gave us a thumb up! I was so happy, once again. The show was amazing! I just felt so so so happy! For real. I’ll never forget when Jay was getting ready to throw water at us (small venue again, we were out of the crowd so we could see clearly) and I had my phone so he was showing me to hide it and I did not get what he wanted me to do until he actually throw the water at us! I love this memory!
The next day we were meant to go to the airport but we got up too late and missed them from a few minutes. I cherish all those memories with all my heart.
I’ll never forget the day, they announced that the band was breaking up. I was listening to them, in school… it was lunch time, I remember that I was sitting on my own in a corridor when my friend texted me the new. I couldn’t believe it. I cried. I cried a lot. We found out the band was breaking up, and that they were cancelling some of their shows, and France was on the cancelled-list. My heart broke. I felt empty. So empty. I just couldn’t believe it.
My great-grand-mother passed on the 27th of August 2012, they helped me a lot. They did not know but they were helping me. I use to listen to “Hi & Low” on repeat and to “Golden”. In April 2013, I got “It’s just another fight to me. ♡” tattooed on my arm, which is a lyric from their song “Golden”. After my panic attacks, and my eating disorder/anorexia got out of control I was admitted to the hospital in November 2014. The first day, I spent my day crying sitting at the window while listening to “Hi & Low”. I stayed over five months in the hospital and at some point I just allowed myself to put some photos up on the door where my stuff and clothes were locked in- I had photos of my family, The Wanted, one of Tom, Ariana etc. I remember one night after food I was really struggling and to calm me down I listened to “Fireflies” on repeat (it was a featuring Tom done).
I got the chance to meet Nathan in Cardiff, during his tour to promote his single “Over and Over Again”. And it was so magical, I was so happy to be able to hug him. To finally get to speak to one of the boy. He was so lovely. So down to earth. And that’s another memorie I will cherish forever. I have so many that I haven’t said here but it’s all in my head and it’s never gonna leave.
The Wanted has been my strength for years, and will always be. I’m so thankful for them …. And I miss them. ❤️
Seeing Tom’s post about his diagnosis broke my heart even more that back in January my grandmother was diagnosed with a breast cancer, it was so difficult and I was the one to follow her to all her appointments to support her and listen for her. It all went super fast after her diagnosis, all the appointments and treatments happened super fast. Then she caught covid while going to chemo and it was so so difficult she was so weak we though we were going to lose her. She had her surgery in August and she’s now going through the last of her treatment. I’m so thankful that’s she’s fine. She’s a warrior and I know Tom will be one too. A fighter.
I never thought I would share this to be honest with you all but here it is. This band meant and means so much to me and yes today my heart is completely broken.
But I will never forget him, his laugh, his epic quotes (“do you pedal?” Can you hear it too?), his beautiful voice.
“Appreciate every day you get given, because none of us are guaranteed tomorrow.” – Tom Parker ❤️
I’m sending all my love to his family- his wife, his children, the band, his friends. To all the #TWFanmily.
They are back !!! “Rule The World” The Wanted’s new single is out!